What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination, will affect everything. It will decide what will get you out of bed in the morning, what you will do with your evenings, how you will spend your weekends, what you read, who you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude. Fall in love, stay in love and it will decide everything.

-Pedro Arrupe, SJ

Monday, June 8, 2009


Everytime I come back to California, it feels less and less like "home." There are fewer and fewer of my old things lying about the house, and fewer and fewer people I know that still live here, too. Fewer connections, to things and people alike.
For as comfortable as I eventually did get with Omaha, it never really did felt like home. In fact, nothing really ever has. But I've always had this sense that once I'm in the right place, I'll just know, and it'll feel like home.

Driving into Tucson on I-1o last week on Ashly and I's cross-country road trip, I didn't know what to expect, and so, like I do so often, I set myself free from having any expectations at all. I find that when I do this, I'm oftentimes pleasantly surprised by the result. Amazingly enough (or maybe not so much), this time was no different, and I couldn't help but tear up as I began to turn the corners that displayed the beautiful mountains just outside of Tucson that Kevin took me to for the first time last fall. It was one of those times where, even just for a few moments, everything seems exactly how it is supposed to be. Usually I have these moments with people, but to have this kind of experience with a place - a tangible and physical location - was liberating and yet calming all at once. I can't wait to move "home."