perspective.

sometimes i think i'm not motivated enough or focused enough, and that i don't work hard enough, especially at school.

but then i remind myself that life is so much bigger than not doing well on a test, and that in less than two years, finally, nobody will ever care again what any of my grades were.

song for you.

i don't think i've ever heard a song that i feel like is speaking right to me quite like this one.

alexi murdoch - song for you

So today I wrote a song for you
Cause a day can get so long
And I know its hard to make it through
When you say theres something wrong

So Im trying to put it right
Cause I want to love you with my heart
All this trying has made me tight
And I dont know even where to start

Maybe thats a start

Cause you know its a simple game
That you play filling up your head with rain
And you know you are hiding from your pain
In the way, in the way you say your name

And I see you
Hiding your face in your hands
Flying so you wont land
You think no one understands
No one understands

So you hunch your shoulders and you shake your head
And your throat is aching but you swear
No one hurts you, nothing could be sad
Anyway youre not here enough to care

And youre so tired you dont sleep at night
As your heart is trying to mend
You keep it quiet but you think you might
Disappear before the end

And its strange that you cannot find
Any strength to even try
To find a voice to speak your mind
When you do, all you wanna do is cry

Well maybe you should cry

And I see you hiding your face in your hands
Talking bout far-away lands
You think no one understands
Listen to my hands

And all of this life
Moves around you
For all that you claim
Youre standing still
You are moving too
You are moving too
You are moving too
I will move you

new recipes

I've recently become re-obsessed with Real Simple, especially some of their amaaaaazing-looking recipes. Here are a couple that I am planning to try out this week:

[image 1]: spaghetti with sweet potatoes and ricotta

[image 2]: ravioli with apples and walnuts

Stay tuned for how they taste, which is more likely to be a reflection of how well I cook them than how good of a recipe it actually is.

kitty!

I never, let me repeat - NEVER - thought there would be a time when i'd actually want a cat, but I do believe the day has come. Here are a few that we are looking at adopting from the local Humane Society:

lucas

mindy

and my personal favorite: theo!

No matter which (and if) kitten we end up getting, we're renaming him or her Zapatos, after my grandparents' cat Shoes, who just died this year :(

(more) learning.

I'm adding fragile to the list of adjectives that describe me in the previous post.

I'm also reiterating the importance of picking your trains.

learning.

things i've learned since in the last three months since moving to arizona:

1. i am a much more selfish and needy and jealous person than i ever thought, and than i'd ever want to admit.

2. my dad was right: you really do have to pick your trains.

3. if you don't drink enough water, you will literally go crazy. luckily, the mountains are here to bring you back to reality and center you.

4. fairy tale love can't last forever, but the love that comes after it is better because it's real and lasting and resilient.

5. that despite how much i've learned, there's really only one thing i know for certain: no matter how purposeless many things seem

to feel, everything happens for a reason.

one day you will.

i find that now, more than almost any other time in my life, i am connecting with lyrics much more than even my own thoughts sometimes.

lady antebellum - one day you will

You feel like you’re falling backwards
Like you’re slippin’ through the cracks
Like no one would even notice
If you left this town and never came back
You walk outside and all you see is rain
You look inside and all you feel is pain
And you can’t see it now

Chorus
But down the road the sun is shining
In every cloud there’s a silver lining
Just keep holding on (just keep holding on)
And every heartache makes you stronger
But it won’t be much longer
You’ll find love, you’ll find peace
And the you you’re meant to be
I know right now that’s not the way you feel
But one day you will

You wake up every morning and ask yourself
What am I doing here anyway
With the weight of all those disappointments
Whispering in your ear
You’re just barely hanging by a thread
You wanna scream but you’re down to your last breath
And you don’t know it yet

Repeat Chorus

Find the strength to rise above
You will
Find just what you’re made of, you’re made of

Repeat Chorus

One day you will
Oh one day you will