runner's high.

kevin and i completed our first ever half-marathon this past weekend, in phoenix-tempe. i didn't really train, so i'm in pain still. and i didn't get the time i was hoping for in the back of my mind, but there will be other shots at that. but, it was the first time in as long as i can remember that i've been genuinely proud of myself, and that's worth a lot these days.

so this is the new year.

[i'm going to try to get better about blogging, as well as privately journaling]

admittedly, i usually subscribe to all the cheesyness and lack of geniune-ness surrounding new year's resolutions, and usually end up jotting down a list that i lose before february. out of sight, out of mind. but i usually am genuinely excited for a new year to begin, and i feel renewed just because american culture says i should.

i'm having a lot of trouble with 2010 so far. i've been dreading this semester for quite a while now. and i'm trying my best to stop thinking about it less as "the semester where kevin finds out where he'll move that will be away from me" and more as "the semester where kevin finds a job in a place that i'll join him in a year and we'll start building our life together." but it's easier said than done, as most things are.

so no resolutions this year, save for the challenge i'm giving myself to really create and maintain a sense of balance in my life, especially with all the changes coming up this spring and summer. to really start balancing work and school and fun and love, and to stop just talking about it.

i'm still figuring out just how i'll do this, but i loved an idea posted on another blog i read awhile back. the post talks about a book called Getting Things Done, by David Allen, and encourages individuals to make what's called a Grand To-Do List, with separate columns for each section of your life that requires action. i've been wanting to put a big list like this together ever since reading this, and now seems like a great time to start. i plan to have sections for coursework; my job; personal; household; and wedding. it seems like such a basic concept but i don't underestimate the power of lists in aiding to get things done :)

So this is the new year.
And i don't feel any different.
The clanking of crystal
Explosions off in the distance (in the distance)

So this is the new year
And I have no resolutions
For self assigned penance
For problems with easy solutions

So everybody put your best suit or dress on
Let's make believe that we are wealthy for just this once
Lighting firecrackers off on the front lawn
As thirty dialogs bleed into one

I wish the world was flat like the old days
Then i could travel just by folding a map
No more airplanes, or speed trains, or freeways
There'd be no distance that could hold us back.

There'd be no distance that could hold us back

So this is the new year

this one time, i got engaged.

can't wait to spend together forever :)

Si Dios quiere.

There's a phrase they use in the Dominican Republic, si Dios quiere. It translates to mean something like, "If God wants it," "If God wills it." (When I was there last summer, the locals used it so often that it almost became comedic. Pase buen dia, they'd say, ...si Dios quiere. "Have a good day...if God wants you to").

But regardless, I knew what they meant. Deep down, it was an expression of their faith in something -- someone -- bigger than themselves to get them through the day, whatever that day might bring. Maybe here and now, we know this thought better as the idea that everything happens for a reason. We spent our fair share of time using the phrase jokingly, but in my quiet time alone, I remember thinking how special it really was.

The faith of the people there will forever surprise me, confuse me, and most of all, inspire me. Many of them have never even heard of half the things I'm sure I couldn't bear to live a day without. There's no indoor plumbing, electricity (if you're lucky) for just a few hours each day, a shortage of healthy food and sanitary water, and diseases that most Americans won't ever have to encounter.

I'm applying to be a coordinator for the program again next summer, and hoping that I'll be able to work it into my Internship for my master's program that I have to do. Lately I've be

been really struggling to find that same purpose and faith and inspiration that I had during my first time there, and that I was so excited to bring back with me. And so, I'm just trying to remind myself of my experience as much as possible, and keep it alive in my life everyday.

Some of my favorite pictures from the DR:

october

it's finally october, my favorite month. no matter where i've lived, october has always been my favorite, but tucson october might be my favorite-est (at least these first 7 days).

this october is a busy month, with lots of fun things planned:

-tomorrow i leave for the acui- region 13 conference for the next three days. i wasn't particularly excited about it in the beginning, but there are some fun people from work going, and there's a pool, and we're close to good shopping, and so, it might not be so bad.

-i'm doing the 10k for AIDSWalk next Sunday! yay!

-kevin and i are going here for pumpkins and apples!

-we're celebrating our 18-month anniversary at the melting pot in a couple weeks :)

-"the laramie project: 10 years later" is coming to UofA, and the read-through is on the 12th

yours, mine and ours.

sometimes i have such a hard time with the fact that this was kevin's city first, and sometimes it still feels like i'm just tagging along, or just on vacation, and that i don't really live here. but i've been trying lately to focus on all the things about tucson that we've made ours:

-a certain spot on mt. lemmon where we alway

s sit and reflect on how beautiful life really is

-the new self-serve frozen yogurt place on speedway that we often go to after dinner

-saturday morning brunch after my long run and kevin's bike ride

-adding movies to our netflix queue

-the random weekday where neither of us have meetings and we can sleep in :)

-stopping by starbuck's or canyon cafe on the

way to work

-the saturday early-bird movie for $5

-having a beer at kevin's apartment after a lon

g day at work and class

-mass on sunday afternoons (currently we're church shopping), and a dinner out afterwards where we can relax before our busy lives begin again the next morning

new favorite picture: kevin, a weiner, and i at the tucson beer festival a few weeks ago.

perspective.

sometimes i think i'm not motivated enough or focused enough, and that i don't work hard enough, especially at school.

but then i remind myself that life is so much bigger than not doing well on a test, and that in less than two years, finally, nobody will ever care again what any of my grades were.